5 Everyday Tips To Build Up Your Confidence
Do you ever feel invisible? In the restaurant when the waiter seems to just not notice you at all or at your job when others get promotions and raises and you can only watch them passing by?
Do you feel insecure when you are with other people? Do you find yourself trying to avoid get-togethers and conversations?
Do you wish you were confident like others?
Do you wish it was easy for you to express yourself and feel seen?
Then I have good news for you.
You can learn to be confident.
Confidence is a skill you can train, just like you can learn how to play basketball or figure skate.
You might feel clumsy when you first try, but in time you will feel supernatural in your skin and leave a lasting impression everywhere you go.
People are drawn to confident humans.
Confidence is sexy.
Confidence feels good.
Confidence helps you to achieve your goals.
And you have all reason to be confident!
You are awesome and have nothing to hide.
That’s a fact.
Of course, if you are an introvert, you won’t slay the next party with your presence – but that is not the point.
Everybody can be confident in their own way.
Confidence means to feel good with who you are and to be comfortable to be in relationships with other humans.
You don’t feel threatened or insecure.
You rely on your intuition and your natural senses.
You don’t need others to validate you.
Confidence comes from within.
Confidence is a natural way to achieve success and fulfillment.
Confidence helps you to overcome failures and try again without getting caught up in your fears.
You trust that you can do things and you trust that you can have things and you trust that you are good enough for genuine contact with other humans.
You start to see the world differently because you can let your guard down and are more receptive to the people around you.
And other people are the gate to everything. It doesn’t matter if you wish for more money – it will come through other humans to you.
Or you wish for a partner, that one is obviously another human.
Success in your business? Humans buy your products or services or work for you.
Better friendships, more fun, flow, and joy? Other humans.
Having confidence opens many doors. You have the natural ability to be confident, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, but it’s important for you to be aware of.
Most children ARE confident, super confident. If you can’t remember yourself as a child, go to a playground and observe them. They trust themselves. They jump, they climb, they do whatever crosses their mind without a second of doubt if they can do it. They just do.
And then observe how the parents or other adults react to the frivolousness of these children.
Can you already sense why your confidence has been buried somewhere? We’ve been conditioned that way.
“Oh honey, please be careful.”
“Please don’t jump that high.”
“Oh please no, you can’t do that – mommy is afraid!” and so on and so forth….
Of course, parents have to take care of their children and have the best of intentions, but the longing for safety and security can be fatal for the next generation.
We underestimate ourselves and our abilities completely and we overestimate our fears and limiting beliefs.
You already HAVE confidence. It is there. Ingrained in your DNA.
So now I want to introduce you to 5 things you can do to awaken that confidence again.
1. Make Eye Contact
Practicing making eye contact is great for building confidence and you can do it every day.
Just leave your house and start to look at everyone who you encounter in the eye.
Intentionally. Say Hi! to the old lady at the bus stop and look her in the eyes.
Look the cashier in the eyes when he gives you your change.
Look your friend in the eyes when you sit in the coffee shop with her.
It can feel awkward at first, and if you begin this exercise, you will notice how rare it is that we look at each other in the eyes.
But I promise you, being able to look others straight in the eyes, make and hold eye contact, maybe even with a smile, is a confidence booster AND door opener.
2. Wear clothes that make you look and feel good
“Uughh, how superficial Linda! Confidence comes from inside you said, and now that.”
I agree. If you are truly confident, you can wear a garbage bag and look and feel fabulous.
But not every day.
Allow yourself to look good.
Allow yourself to be noticed.
Allow yourself to support your natural beauty with clothes, accessories, and makeup that makes you look and feel good.
Get a nice haircut.
I’m not talking fashion trends here – if that is not your thing – I’m saying create an image of yourself you’d like to see in the mirror.
And if this is hard for you, I recommend diving deeper into WHY that is so and release the blocks that keep you from being seen. If you don’t know how – don’t worry. That is something i can totally help you with! Book your discovery call with me if you want to know more. Click HERE
3. Do a good deed every day
Not being confident often goes hand in hand with not seeing your own worth.
Helping others is a natural drug that literally pushes these negative feelings about yourself out of your bloodstream.
Picking something up that someone dropped or giving someone change if they need it can help make you feel good.
If you see that you can help others and that you DO HAVE WORTH your confidence increases naturally.
BUT: Please don’t make yourself a martyr and drain yourself to help others. Take care of yourself AND help others.
4. Have a daily success journal
Take 5 minutes every night before you go to sleep and list out 3-5 things that you achieved during the day.
You can make an evening ritual out of it, with a tea, your favourite music, and a lovely journal – but it is also enough to write down bullet points on a sheet of paper.
If you look back into your day and acknowledge where you succeeded, you will wake up the next day being your very own hero.
Important: Stay consistent with this practice but never beat yourself up if you do not follow through.
Please don’t expect change overnight.
“Small subtle shifts every day cause miraculous shifts over time.” – Gabby Bernstein
5. Declutter your home
Decluttering your home works on a physical and mental level.
It gives you a sense of achievement when you finally tidy up that messy closet or throw away these old and broken flower pots.
Also, your outside world (your home) is an expression of your inside world (your soul/mind/emotions).
If you remove clutter from your home, you help to release stuck energies.
You get back into your natural flow and gain access to your natural abilities like confidence. You get new ideas, see things differently and get the juices flowing.
Grab a pen and paper and write at least 5 minutes freely about this:
What would it feel like for you to walk on this earth, feeling confident AF?
Who would you BE?
What would you DO?
And what can you do right now to feel that way?
Ask yourself every day, what would my confident self now do?
And then: do it!