That was the universe working at it’s finest and it gave me goosebumps all over the place!
It was just epic guys, just epic.
I was sitting in the train to go to Fribourg (that’s in the french part of Switzerland) and my friend calls me and tells me she has a problem and asks for my opinion.
She met a guy, and she really likes him but there is something in his physical appearance that doesn’t quite match her imagination of HOW A GUY SHOULD BE.
So I start to talk about that, and I have quite a bit experience with that because my husband is a tiny – tiny one and a half centimeter shorter than me.
I’m not saying SMALLER on purpose, because he is a great person. Like actually every single human on this planet. Just so you know. (And maybe he reads the post. Honey, I love you!)
I told her how i felt super attracted by him as we met us and how my brain starts to fuck me just right after we started dating because of his height.
Because i always BELIEVED a man SHOULD be taller than I.
But now I met somebody, and he was NOT WHAT I THOUGHT HE SHOULD BE BUT INSTEAD WHAT MY HEART TOLD ME IT WANTS TO BE CLOSE TO.
So I told my friend about that, I told her about the challenge to distinguish between the random facts your mind thinks are true and throws at you like these machines that throw the tennis balls.
And what is REALLY true for you.
What your heart is telling you.
And that she now has the great opportunity to follow her heart, against what she THINKS she should do.
I LOVE THAT!
THAT IS WHERE WE GROW.
THAT IS HOW WE HEAL.
THAT IS HOW WE FIND BACK TO LOVE.
Which is our true nature.
I get excited about that!
She asked me how she can distinguish between heart and mind or what helped me to do so.
I said that I asked myself:
How do i want to be seen?
Through which eyes do I wish to be seen by another person?
By my boyfriend.
By a man.
By random people even.
How do I want to be looked at?
And the answer was clear:
I want to be seen through the eyes of love.
I certainly don’t want to be reduced to physical attributes.
So I changed my perspective.
I gave to him what I felt is the right thing to do.
And what you give to others, you give yourself.
I saw him through the eyes of love.
And that is how you REALLY SEE a person.
Suddenly you see their soul.
That’s pure beauty.
And so scary!
We are so afraid to truly connect with another one, because we are taught that we are separated and have to be independent.
We are scared to be hurt or disappointed.
So me and my friend spoke about that.
How we hesitate when we feel for somebody and “oh my god that’s going to fast for me”
And “I want security”.
Can you give security first?
Can you give the guarantee that you want from him?
Because security doesn’t exist.
Nothing is ever sure and secure.
Let go of it!
BEING with another person is the most beautiful thing in this world, but we are so afraid to just BE with another one.
Let go of the need that he has to promise you anything and so you liberate yourself from feeling obligated to do anything that you don’t feel to be right.
And so i finally finish my ramble on the phone about that topic, and my friend feels so relieved – as suddenly a woman who sat in front of me gets up from her seat, turns to me and says:
“Thank you so, so, so much for these words. That was exactly what I needed.”
And then she dropped of the train.
And my jaw dropped, too.
I shivered and got goosebumps all over me, even still as I am writing that.
EXPRESS YOURSELF I thought.
Let everything out even if you think it’s not the right place for it (yes, I thought a crowded train is probably not a good place to speak about that topic but I did it anyway).
You never know who is listening.
You never know who needs you right in this second.
Don’t hold back.